Interview with a Red Panda

Person: Hello.

Red panda: Hi.

Person: Where do you live?

Red panda: In a tree.

Person: I can barely see you!

Red panda: Wanna play Hide and Seek?

Person: Okay.

Person: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!

Person: Ready or not, here I come!

18 minutes later

Person: Man, this is hard! Where are you?!

Red panda: Over here.

Person: Where?!

Red panda: Are you blind, or are you dumb? I'm right above you!

Person: (looking up) There you are!

Later

Person: (stomach rumbling) I'm hungry. What's for Breakfast?

Red panda: Bamboo.

Person: What?

Red panda: I said, Bamboo.

Person: I can’t eat that!

Red panda: (frustrated sigh) There’s apples in the nearest village. Go and get some!

Person: Fine.

4 minutes later

Person: (panting) I’m (huff) back! (collapses on the ground)

Red panda: Thank you.

Soon after

Person: (biting into an apple) What kind of tree do you live in?

Red panda: A fir tree.

Person: A fur tree?! You mean, you get your fur from the tree?!

Red panda: No, dummy. A fir tree does NOT have fur!

Person: Wait. Was that your house?

Red panda: Yes.

Person: Were you hiding there?!

Red panda: (blushing) Well, yes.

Rustling

Person: What was that?!

Red panda: Poachers! Hide!

1 minute later

Poacher 1: Where did the Red panda go?

Poacher 2: I swear I heard him!

Poacher 3: There is no Red panda!

Poacher 1: YOU, ARE, SO, DUMB!!

(poachers fighting)

Red panda: Our chance to escape!

Poacher 3: (spotting the red panda escaping) Look! There he goes!

Poacher 1: I, DON’T, CARE! We all know you’re dumb!

7 minutes into running

Person: How, many, miles, have, we, run?!

Red panda: I was lucky.

Person: Why?

Red panda: People here kill red pandas for fur.

Person: Brutal!

Red panda: I gotta go to alert others to tell them poachers are expanding
their search area.

Person: Okay. I’ll go.

Red panda: Goodbye.
Person: Bye.